CHAPTER 16: Be your spouse's best friend and lawyer

CHAPTER 16: Be your spouse's best friend and lawyer

(friends close enemies closer in negotiation)

So you are mad as hell, but she might have you by the balls, you might have to do something that is a lot outside what your feeling. This is an important one. After you have a signed agreement with everything item of interest you can go burn some pictures of them, but for now your their best friend just working to give them their freedom to be unbound from you.

Remember in cop shows when a criminal is in the interrogation room and the cops are outside the one way glass. They are talking about the perpetrator not lawyering up so they pretty much can do as they like inside that room. One detective tells the suspect, “Oh, I'm sorry your partner just flipped on you, you better start speaking else they are getting the deal.” Same idea applies with your spouse.

If you can get her into a room with your lawyer to sign a “standard divorce document” you might just be in luck.

Note: THERE IS NO STANDARD DIVORCE AGREEMENT, IT IS JUST WHATEVER YOU CAN GET THE OTHER TO AGREE ON AND SIGN

Back to high pressure sales, but the good part is your not the one buying. If properly written and not under any pressure your spouse is sat down with a number to be paid and an official person of the law saying sure that's normal, cut and dry (nods) but we close in 30 minutes. If they are representing you and you know what's in that contract. Before your spouse does, you can act none the wiser.

Your advantage is that you know what's going on and what the goal is. First, you set the rules. Second, you knew it was your lawyer. Their job is to work for you and what you want. Your job is to use the misplaced trust or belief you and idiot that you spouse has to help you in the action of unscrewing yourself from their actions. The Lawyer and you are selling your spouse.

Lawyer: “Normally, 7 years is just the start of getting alimony, in fact many don't get any at all.”

Spouse: “That seems low to me.”

You: “Well, I don't have to give you anything as our lawyer said. I'm being fair in giving you

[insert amount].”

Spouse: “I'm not sure about this”

You: “This is all new to me too, but this is what they do for a living they are the experts.”

or

You: “Lawyers are expensive, we are saving thousand of dollars by being agreeable and working together.”

Just keep building up that trust and understanding of her feelings and dismiss them her fears as you would shadows in the dark. Keep the pace going and sooner than you think you will be all signed and bound. Talk about the fairness and be grateful for her effort to work with you.

A very important principle to understand when in negotiations:

Anything not agreed at-least 50-50 or better in your favor can be used against you to funnel money to your spouse that was yours.

Ex.1 Your child is sick with a cold. Mom decides to call an ambulance! You are reasonable or all medical items so you end-up with the bill for a decision you could not control.

Ex2. You are required to pay for transportation cost of the children. Mom moves from Florida to Washington. If you want to see them, she say “you pay for it!”.

*** USE AT YOUR OWN RISK. I am not a lawyer and this is not to be construed as legal advice. For any legal decision see the proper legal representative. You are the master of your soul.