CHAPTER 12: Get a lawyer you trust

CHAPTER 12: Get a lawyer you trust

Unless you have had legal matters in the past odds are you only know how to find a lawyer by looking on billboard signs or in that historical book called the “Yellow Pages”. But, who are these guys? How do you know you will be treated any different.

You are putting a large portion of your money on the line now and in your future.

• Alimony
• Child support
• Your Childrens' Education
• Medical bills
• Insurance
• Taxes
• Your Home
• Your Car
• Custody
• Visitation on scheduling
• Where you live
• Hours of your life transporting

Get reference if you can. If your parents or friends are local, it's possible they may have had or know someone with this expertise. You also want someone that meets your needs. If you have kids a Divorce Lawyer may do just that and no more. A Family Law lawyer is a better fit and should consider both the divorce and the custody matters.

Not all lawyers require payment for the first visit to discuss the possible impacts of the divorce.

Schedule some appointments with different ones if you can. It is well worth finding the right person you can deal with, you feel is honest and you can communicate clearly too.

Also it's important to understand the first visit is free, but a lawyers time is far from free. May the best of it.

List of To Do:

1. Be on time

The lawyers time is valuable and anything you don't get answered will cost

you later. Get there and be polite. This person may be your savory.

2. Organize the important items: Assets (Houses, Cars, IRA/401k),

Debts (Credit Cards,Mortgages, Loans ect) , Children,

Situation of Spouse and their income

Get a folder and also make a summery for the lawyer and

have it organized on a piece of paper

3. Know what you want and what's worth fighting for

Emotions are out the door at this point is all about how much of a

financial impact this will have on your life. It's all on the table now.

For Example:

Rental property which is $150k with a $50k potential increase

or your Primary property which is $200k and is underwater $100k

Your going to have to sit down and look at the numbers, you might not need a big house with a big monthly payment, but if you have a lot of equity, it might be good to sell later and make sure you can do it in writing and the profits are yours. Note: primary residences are a big deal when there are children involved. You might not be able to get the primary residence, because it would disrupt your children. This can be a big shock. You may not have known living in the underwater house could have saved you $50k, but you got the short end of the stick.

OR

$2,000 TV or 10,000 401k

(that will pay off later but has tax implication now)?

You might be able to negotiate the TV value for reduced split of

your 401k and convince the decreased value of future money verse

the quickly depreciating technology.

OR

$700/m for 2 child support with Medical Bills split 50%

or $300/m per child + Medical Bills 100% you.

Well, if you have 2 children you might be tempted to take the second option since its less monthly for the number you can see. $600 ($300X2) is less the $700, but what you don't see is your ex-spouse can you the Emergency room as much as she wants and you have to pay for it. So $1,000 medical bill for that bruised knee and your decision does not look that good. By splitting or your spouse taking full responsibility for

medical it does the most important thing of making their decisions effect

them.

*** The Above can happen with one of many items. You goal needs to be to ensure there is nothing you blindly have unlimited responsibility for

something you don't decide.

- Some areas: Medical, Travel, Activities, Schooling, Insurance Expenses

*** Lawyers fight for what you tell them to, they are smart enough to not give advice they are not requested to give. Be direct and specific. They can not make financial decisions for you, but they can tell you the areas to focus your attention.

4. Plan your strategies and reasoning to disarm your spouse

If you have a plan you can avoid emotions that might make your spouse lash out

and disarm them. In fact you can always play ignorant and innocent like you

don't know what your don't and this is all just normal standard stuff. It really does

not matter after the words are printed and names are signed.

*** USE AT YOUR OWN RISK. I am not a lawyer and this is not to be construed as legal advice. For any legal decision see the proper legal representative. You are the master of your soul.