CHAPTER
5: Control your emotions or get out of the fire
Clear your head. Your a
logical creature and your being forced down a path of emotion which
is not your natural realm. If you have to remove yourself from the
situation. A simple premise is if the person can not be reasoned with
your dealing with a fool. Do not let an idiot beat you up with their
experience. Not everything asked must be answered.
You spouse has an advantage
in the emotional realm. This is why they want to drive you into to
it. We can not always express and control our emotions well and it
comes out in unintended forms like anger (undeveloped emotion). All
they need is you to slip up and just even claim violence and your
ejected from your home. It also will made their case stronger to have
even more custody if you have children. So just don't.
Easily said don't respond,
but they are going to be trying very hard using everything they know
about you against you. What can you do? The answer is silence. You
can not get in trouble by remaining silent. Same methodology utilized
in counseling. You want to show they they are being irrational and
are uncontrolled. Give them as much rope as they need to hang
themselves. There own anger and bitterness will start to isolate them
from everyone that sees your struggle and stamina. This is truly he
high road. Now, if you have slipped off the high road. The answer is
ask for forgiveness make it formal. State that they also did things
that spurred it on, but you are willing to forgive if they are. Get
it in writing if you can. Not super detailed. Its more important to
have the understanding your spouse is not under any deres (like you
are harassing them or showed aggression anywhere near them or the
kids). In the eyes of he law you are a wild animal that if you show
any signs you should be put down.
It is not bad to have an
outlet. Ideally one with no string attached. The uninterested party
(not your best friend that is friends with your spouse or anyone that
knows your spouse), ask if you can sit down and explain what you are
seeing and you concerns. These need not be emotions, but emotions
most likely will be involved either way. It's a good sanity check to
make sure you know you not just out of touch with reality and making
something out of nothing. Pastors, trusted friends of the family,
family members that know you well ect... also work. Odds are they
will ask you if you have been able to somehow ask your spouse and
told them about your concerns. If you did and odds are you have
already. It was a fight, they did not listen to your concern and
voiced their own. They are thinking only of themselves.
No comments:
Post a Comment